Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Utter frustration

So things just get worse when others start to go right. I got an email from "ex" to "discuss" our drop off situation of L at daycare. As we're both on our way to owning our own cars, we both agree that we'll be able to cut out the tradeoffs, and replace with just picking him up from daycare on our nights.

Why I say "discuss" in quotes, is because she outined the changes and says I have 24hrs to comply. Um, sorry but that's unacceptable. She just keeps harping the whole "well, this is a reasonable request, so you have to do it". Nope! It's not reasonable for her to expect me to accomodate when I haven't even gotten my car yet.

I tried reminding her of her many promises about the car situation. I told her it could take upwards of a month to get my own car after she takes in the Rondo, considering the loan was in my name and needed to get cleared to enable my credit rating to support another car loan. Many many times she promised that she would do whatever it took to ensure the transition went well.

So I reply to her email letting her know that, while I agree about needing to change things up, the timeline she was imposing was unreasonable. I reminded her I may not have my car in this week, and thus can't guarantee I'd be able to pick him up myself Friday. She replies telling me "tough luck" and restates it's not her problem, this is how it will be.

Sounds reasonable to you? To any sane person?

It gets to the point I tell her we need to discuss this as we're both trying to move ahead, just need to work out the details. As I was getting L that night, we were to discuss when she drops him off. So she arrives at my place and immediately tells me that she's talked with her lawyer, her request is "reasonable" and tough shit for me if I can't do it.

Again, I remind her it was a condition of selling the Rondo that she respect the transition time and allows for adequate time to replace my vehicle. She agrees that I said that, however, she says "I never put it in writing anywhere" (basically, "I know I promised you I wouldn't try and screw you, but I've changed my mind and you don't have any proof aside from both of us knowing what we agreed to, so you're fucked"). Just another to the monster list of lies and deceipt.

It degenerates as she is completely unwilling to compromise. Her bf even chimes in to try and explain it to her, but no luck getting through. They leave, and I start my fun time with L. Except a few mins later I get a call from the bf offering help to make things transition smooth. At least one of them understands simple situations.

But wow, she just has no clue. What happens when I go on compressed schedule and take every other Friday off? L wouldn't go into daycare, and she'd have to pick him up from my place. Or what about when her pregnant ass starts staying home? She going to drive L in to daycare? And when the newborn comes, she'll be driving L around? Not likely!

She just thinks it's all clear cut and doesn't require any kind of planning. She can't see the impact down the road and just assumes her demands are reasonable.

Do I have a solution? Unfortunately no. That's why I wanted to discuss it out and plan for the different scenarios. Her input to that? Well X isn't for another Y months so we don't even need to think about it. Except there's some big X's happening in small amount of Y's. And they ARE happening, these aren't hypotheticals.

She's told me she's adamantly against changing the weekly schedule even in the face of my concerns, upcoming changes, etc.

Now tell me, I'm trying to work things out for our mutual benefit with L's interests at heart; she's doesn't want to hear anything that's not a complete agreement with her.... so who's being reasonable here?

-- Posted From My iPhone


  1. Being a reasonable, sane person clearly isn't something she's interested in. As usual, she's showing that her prime interest is in herself, and not in maintaining even a semblance of a civil relationship with the father of her child. You have to wonder about her motives when even her boyfriend is trying to explain the errors in her thinking and she still adamantly refuses to see any side other than her own.

    She's setting a horrible example for Liam in how adults are supposed to behave towards one another.

  2. Shaun, if we can help out at all let us know. Do you need a stroller? We never use ours anymore, so it's yours if you want it.