Friday, January 22, 2010

Will be short

I think the only way I'll update this will be a la twitter style for now; just small concise points. I just never get around to putting time into writting here, had always used it to kill commute time.

Today I got my son back. As he's no longer going to daycare on her weeks, we have to meet up again for the exchange. I got a message a few hours before saying she couldn't make it as it conflicts with feeding time for her new baby and that her guy would come instead. Ok no problem, meet him, open the back door and L greets me with "Shaun!" all happy. ??. Then I say it's daddy and he's just as happy to call me that. But still, why would he even know to call me that?! Was odd to me, but otherwise glad to have him back. After getting home we went over to the park nearby to take advantage of the great winter weather.

That's it

-- Posted From My iPhone


  1. Hmmmm.could it be that when they talk about you, they addres you as Shaun, so your son picks that up. Just imagine the confusion when their kid starts tallking and starts addressing him as Dad...won't that even further confuse your son? Thank you for the update it has been way toooooo long!

  2. But that's my problem with it. Why would they refer to me as Shaun around Liam? Why wouldn't they say "Dad"?

    Small thing, but it's something I see leading to confusion for him.

    And I hope he'd refer to her bf by name and not confuse him with "daddy"

  3. It is a blended Family. Its the most common Family going these days. IT will cause a bit of confusion at first, but it will work out in the end for all involved.

    You can't really expect her and her new man to refer to you as Daddy in there conversations. Its just not Practical.

  4. Why not? I'm his dad. Of course in their own conversations they can call me what they please, but when dealing with my son, why would there be a need to call me by name?

    Blended family or not, to me it's wrong for a 2yr old to refer to either parent by name

  5. As a parent of 3 in a blended Family, I think you are being a tad Bitter and unrealistic.

  6. Lol. Where do you get bitter from that?

    From your experience then, describe how you see the situation. Mom& new guy are called what? Dad& new girl called what?

    Before even thinking I'd be in this situation, I always thought in my head it's "mom" & "dad" for the parents and first names for their spouse. You know, like I see on tv :p

  7. Her new guy should still be refered to with his first name and your new girl should always be referred to as her first name by the child. But you cant expect anyone else in the family to refer to him by name unless talking directly to the child in perticular.

    With that being said...when the new "family" becomes a family and a new child is added the older child will hear the "new Parent Figure" referred to as Daddy. It can not be helped. The new baby will call him Daddy and im sure your ex calls him Daddy (as most new parents refer to eachother as Mommy and Daddy for the first little bit with out thinking.)But as long as you are the strong father figure in his life and i can tell you will be, it wont matter.

    Try and think of it as L being lucky. He now has another person in his life who wants to see him succeed. Another Cheerleader for his life Journey. And The same thing will happen in your home when the time comes.

    Its going to be difficult, but I think you need to pick your battles a little more carefully. L is still a baby and will make word slip ups, no biggie. Brush it off. And the bag that comes with his stuff in it? Who cares? Transfer it into something more convienent for you during his stay and just send her bag packed back up at the end of the visit.

    Lifes too short.

  8. Do you think I'm angry? I'm just writing about things that happen, and my view on them.

    Your description of the situation sounds about right. My concern is, after L being with his mom for the week, returned to me and greeted me with "Shaun!" not daddy. Regardless of what they call me in their own conversations, how is L then making the link to know they're talking
    about me? It stands to reason she's calling me by name in conversations with my son. I'm not happy about that... is it the end of the world? No

    Same with the bag, just writing about it cause it was bugging me that day stuffed with all his things and constantly falling off my shoulder. Of course I know I can replace it, I've done it many times with other items.

    The bag is small potatoes, for sure. I was just writing about something that was bothering me.

  9. I think it's just the age. My DD went through a stage of calling both myself and DH by our first names when she was about L's age (And Grandma and Grandpa soon after!). It's just a precocious-limit-testing thing. It quite likely has nothing to do with anything he's hearing at his Mom's house.

  10. and I don't think you sound angry...frustrated perhaps, parental certainly, but not so much angry anymore...I'm happy to see (read) the change...

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